oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
