You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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