i think my mom watched the whole time
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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