you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
