I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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