Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
