It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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