If i come over, it means nothing
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
