nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
