He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
