highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
