And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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