i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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