you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
