Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
