i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
