Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
