Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
