Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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