I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
what day is it and did you see me today?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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