Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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