The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
