we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
