Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize