I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
