It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
