Where is the hickey?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
