Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
