Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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