Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
