I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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