question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
