he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
