is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
