This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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