get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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