jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
