Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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