Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
