That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
