is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
