I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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