is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
"it" just moved
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
