She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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