Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
