should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I want her autograph on my taint
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
