Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
