I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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