If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
