I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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